The Truth About Adoption

My friend Lisa, who adopted an older boy from Burkina Faso a few months ago, lives in Wisconsin. She and I were talking just last week and I was lamenting how difficult and all-consuming the adoption homestudy, the Dossier submission, and the immigration applications were. She said that they were so overwhelming, that surely completing the process required a "supernatural stamina, perseverance and motivation". I almost wept at the truth of this (well, maybe I did weep a little bit).

I'd like to report to everyone that we, The Undaunted Dorseys, are going like gangbusters, making record-breaking progress, and that our son is so close to coming home.... But instead I'll tell you the truth. Our progress isn't speedy. There is nothing fast about international adoption. The road to our son doesn't unfold as a straight, steep, plotted line. It spans before us, a messy series of fits and starts-- tedious errands, never-ending forms and questionnaires, and the constant up-ending of our lives and our privacy in every imaginable way. It taxes our time, our mental energy, and our finances daily, but we persevere, because Charlemagne is alone in the world, and his homecoming is worth all of our effort.

Some days Joe and I power through several tasks on our lengthy adoption-to-do list, and feel great about each step that brings our son closer to home! Other times, I am sad to say, we don't do a thing-- Not one single thing to move closer to our sweet boy. I feel terrible about these days. I know each day of inactivity on our part, means another day that our son waits in loneliness. Then, when I forget who I am, doubt creeps in, and I hear the whispering sounds....(The murmurs that sometimes come from our friends, too).....that we're nuts, that we are ill-prepared, that we have bitten off more than we can chew, that this task is just too big for little old us, that we are not special...(Why in the world did we think we could do this?). It is in those lows, and in those lies, that I reach out to Lisa and the other adoptive moms, and my prayerful supporters, who I am so blessed to call my friends, and they let me come unraveled a little bit, and they tell me the truth again.

The truth is, that I am an ordinary person and we are a regular family who is following God's heart to love sacrificially. We can only put one foot in front of other, on the path lit for us, and that is what we do. We trust God's strength, timing, and provision, not our own. The truth is that Jesus loved the hurting, the lost, and the lonely, and he calls us to do the same. I know how he feels about the unloved, the broken, the unwanted, the orphan, and I know what I am supposed to do about it. There is such peace in this burden of knowing, I can't even tell you!!!! An easy road was never part of the promise God makes, but His love and grace are poured out, every step of the way.

Of course Joe and I are ill equipped and ordinary. If our adoption succeeded by us being extraordinary, by our own hard work and careful planning, by our own wealth and financial success, by our own intellect and cleverness, then we'd rob God of the glory he deserves, in bringing orphans into families, in bringing his people together for his plans. Adopting Charlemagne is God's call for our lives and although the path will change our lives, change our family, and come at a "cost" in ways we can't even imagine, we are so blessed to be part of God's great plan.

So where are we in the process?
We are under contract with two agencies: Holt International as our local homestudy agency and All Blessings International as our placing agency. We have completed more than half of the overall requirements for our two agencies, and have submitted $5,600 in fees and paid about $500 in incidental fees, training videos, and notary charges along the way. The ball is definitely rolling, friends!!

Joe's new passport will arrive any day, and then we can prepare our first immigration document, called the I800-A. (this will be submitted as soon as we finish our homestudy, along with about $860 in fees). Our homestudy will be finished as soon as we obtain a few more clearances, a 10 hour training module online, and a 22 page questionnaire about every aspect of our lives, (relationships, childhood, our marriage, our faith, parenting....you name it!). When we receive the I800-A approval, we submit our Dossier, (along with the next round of agency fees, $5,000)-- this is the formal packet that goes to Burkina Faso for approval! This is what I think of as "the end of the beginning" of the process. The majority of our work is done....then the real waiting begins, and we gather the next round of fees....$10,000 in "International Fees".

We will share updates and we hope to have our homestudy completed in the next 30 days-- your prayers are appreciated!!

Thanks for coming alongside our family, and for sharing our story.

So......How did we come to this place?

About three years ago, as we were taking baby steps in our first international adoption, Joe and I were reading the bios of several “waiting children”. We had an immediate soft spot in our hearts for one boy in particular: Charlemagne. So handsome, with a beautiful smile, we thought. What a beautiful son he’d be! Ruth, who would be our adoption facilitator, told us he was a tenderhearted, gentle boy. But he was deaf, and we didn’t know how to sign….plus, he was older than our son, Nate by a year or two. How would this affect our family dynamic? We decided that adopting a younger child might be best for our family. Maybe a younger child would have fewer adjustment issues. Maybe he would not have as much “baggage” from his traumatic past. Looking back, it seems silly that we thought we had any control at all.

We decided to adopt a waiting child with special needs. He was a sweet little boy who was just 4 or 5, and visually impaired. His too-big glasses and sweet face drew us in, and in truth, we loved him before we met him. We were confident that our American resources and healthcare could solve his vision issues in a snap. But throughout our adoption, we thought of Charlemagne and prayed often that his family would come for him. The months passed, and although several of us advocated for him on our blogs and on social media, Charlemagne continued to wait.

What a heavy mantle of responsibility it is, this “choosing”. We knew that our decision would not only change our lives, but would drastically alter the life of one tiny, waiting child. Our decision would also impact the life of the child who was not chosen. His life would be unchanged. He would not be plucked out of poverty and loneliness. He would continue to wait.

Fast forward……today, Thomas, (who began as “Sylvain” in his African orphanage) has been home for just over a year. Despite his disability and his inevitable “baggage” from living for 6 years as an orphan, he is thriving and he is happy. His vision is not curable or even treatable. (Again, how silly it was, how arrogant, really…..to think that we had any control over this). Thomas will live his life as a person with a significant visual impairment, but what this means for his progress and potential, we cannot even guess! He surprises us all the time with what he can do, learn and strive towards. Thomas has many friends, a joyful heart, and he love, love, loves his family!

After many months and many petitions, we were finally allowed to sponsor Charlemagne, so that he could attend a school for the deaf. He is at the top of his class!! Despite his needs and his age, we still felt called to pursue him, to bring him home.

Joe and I can’t help but feel that our family is not yet complete, and that God has chosen another son for us, who is living in Burkina Faso. Amazing to think that God really DID raise up a family for Charlemagne after all, isn’t it?

To make a tax deductible donation to our family's adoption, click here

When God Whispers in Your Ear.....

We definitely do not see the whole staircase in this adoption adventure, but we are willing to take each step in faith! We all like to see the "big picture" first, don't we? We like to have guarantees and we don't want to fail, to lose, to suffer on our journey. We want our efforts to be linear, resulting in goal attainment. This adoption process counter-intuitive to goal setters and linear thinkers like Joe. It is long with almost guaranteed setbacks and frustrating delays that will become too numerous to count. We will be striving, persevering, and praying through obstacles throughout our climb, because we think that the view at the top of the mountain will be pretty amazing. We learn to flex our "trust muscle" and buckle up for the ride when we parent-- and this is true for adopted and biological children. (This first quote pictured was borrowed from New Horizons for Children, an orphan hosting ministry, the second, from Pastor Francis Chan).

We are Unqualified.....

We are a regular family, over-scheduled and often frazzled by the work we do and the world we live in. We are led and empowered by an amazing God who has broken our hearts to care for the least of these…..children without families, living in poverty. We do our best to listen for God’s will for our lives, to follow the path he lights at our feet, and to tell the story of how he moves us. 

Join us in our adventure, as we share the story of “Bringing Charlemagne Home” from Burkina Faso, West Africa.

We know that every child needs and deserves to be loved and cherished in a family. This is a simple truth, but it is not a reality for millions of kids all over the world. A boy we sponsor, Charlemagne was abandoned by his first family. He is loved by no one in a country where family membership means the difference between life and death. Can you grasp what this really means for a child? To be alone in the world and deaf, with no hope for the future that lies ahead is a tragic thing. It is a thing that Joe and I could not “un-know” once we knew.

In trying to raise our kids and navigate the choices and changes in life, Joe and I have found that we mess up and miss opportunities all the time. But God does this crazy thing with messes like us— He can draw straight lines with crooked sticks—making miracles out of our madness. You can find our story on facebook by this name.

And so here we start, unqualified as we are, on the path to adopting Charlemagne! We are ready for the uncertainties that lie ahead, and we are so excited to be part of God’s adoption plan! We hope you’ll join us, pray with us, share our story, and support us this rescue mission. Thanks for being our village!