So......How did we come to this place?
About three years ago, as we were taking baby steps in our first international adoption, Joe and I were reading the bios of several “waiting children”. We had an immediate soft spot in our hearts for one boy in particular: Charlemagne. So handsome, with a beautiful smile, we thought. What a beautiful son he’d be! Ruth, who would be our adoption facilitator, told us he was a tenderhearted, gentle boy. But he was deaf, and we didn’t know how to sign….plus, he was older than our son, Nate by a year or two. How would this affect our family dynamic? We decided that adopting a younger child might be best for our family. Maybe a younger child would have fewer adjustment issues. Maybe he would not have as much “baggage” from his traumatic past. Looking back, it seems silly that we thought we had any control at all.
We decided to adopt a waiting child with special needs. He was a sweet little boy who was just 4 or 5, and visually impaired. His too-big glasses and sweet face drew us in, and in truth, we loved him before we met him. We were confident that our American resources and healthcare could solve his vision issues in a snap. But throughout our adoption, we thought of Charlemagne and prayed often that his family would come for him. The months passed, and although several of us advocated for him on our blogs and on social media, Charlemagne continued to wait.
What a heavy mantle of responsibility it is, this “choosing”. We knew that our decision would not only change our lives, but would drastically alter the life of one tiny, waiting child. Our decision would also impact the life of the child who was not chosen. His life would be unchanged. He would not be plucked out of poverty and loneliness. He would continue to wait.
Fast forward……today, Thomas, (who began as “Sylvain” in his African orphanage) has been home for just over a year. Despite his disability and his inevitable “baggage” from living for 6 years as an orphan, he is thriving and he is happy. His vision is not curable or even treatable. (Again, how silly it was, how arrogant, really…..to think that we had any control over this). Thomas will live his life as a person with a significant visual impairment, but what this means for his progress and potential, we cannot even guess! He surprises us all the time with what he can do, learn and strive towards. Thomas has many friends, a joyful heart, and he love, love, loves his family!
After many months and many petitions, we were finally allowed to sponsor Charlemagne, so that he could attend a school for the deaf. He is at the top of his class!! Despite his needs and his age, we still felt called to pursue him, to bring him home.
Joe and I can’t help but feel that our family is not yet complete, and that God has chosen another son for us, who is living in Burkina Faso. Amazing to think that God really DID raise up a family for Charlemagne after all, isn’t it?
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